I have been sitting here trying to think of ways I can thank everyone who has been praying for me, bringing me meals, talking to me, keeping me distracted, and most of all just loved me over the past couple weeks. Nothing I can think of really expresses how much I really appreciate my friends and family.
For weeks I have been experiencing some intense pain in my abdomen after I eat. I went to the doctor and tried a few things but nothing was working. Eventually last Friday I went to get a CT Scan. A few hours later I got a phone call from Dr. Brown at the hospital telling me I have "lesion" in my pelvis. The doctor was sort of dancing around words and told me I needed to see a doctor on Monday. Good thing Monday was Memorial Day and the doctors office was closed. It was an interesting weekend. I knew I was going to be fine no matter what but I had no idea what I needed to prepare myself for. Sunday my family and my Bishop fasted for me. When I woke up I could feel their love overwhelming me and I felt good. My Bishop gave me a blessing. Again, I felt overwhelmed with the love my my Savior and my family. I am the only one in Utah right now and being absent from my family was sad for me. But feeling their love made me feel so close to them. All weekend I had friends and family making sure I was taken care of. Since I couldn't get into the doctor Monday I went on a hike to Stewart Falls and it was incredible. I secretly wished I could have stayed out there all day but we ended up coming back. I think I'll devote a whole blogpost to my hike soon.
Tuesday I finally got into the doctor. I have a cyst on my ovary about the size of a grapefruit. When the doctor told me this I felt a huge sigh of relief. This was the best case scenario for me and I can totally handle this. It's not going to go away on it's own, so yesterday I got an ultrasound done to determine what kind of surgery and when. I am feeling relieved, happy, at peace, and comforted. I can handle this easily! A few of you know some of the thoughts I was having this weekend about what this could be (mostly Lauryn). I honestly had absolutely no idea and was preparing myself for anything. The one thing I did know is I will be fine.
I am so grateful for the gospel in my life and for everyone around me. I definitely had a roller coaster of feelings but the one feeling I always felt was the love of my Savior, family and friends. My older sister, Lauryn, has been great and checked on me every single day and probably got the brunt of me roller coaster emotions. She would call me and call my Mom and made both of us feel better everyday. She was the peace keeper and kept me in check. She's always been a lot more level headed then me. We are worriers in my family and I think it stems from my Mom. She cares so much about us. I know my Mom didn't sleep much this weekend. I missed her SO much this weekend because she knows how to take care of me the best. She knows just how to keep me distracted and entertained and loved. I know my Mom didn't sleep much because sometimes I would get text messages from her in the middle of the night. In the past few months there have been a number of times when my Mom has been so in tune with me and my needs. Her silly text messages in the middle of the night and phone calls during the day were exactly what I needed. My Dad kept calling the doctors and was a lot more successful in getting through to them then I was. If it weren't for him I would probably still be waiting to get into the doctor. When I got the phone call on Friday I know he was worried but he did a great job of staying calm. Taylor is great and would text message me the funniest things and has the best stories. Like the time she brought two left shoes to her volleyball game. I can always count on her for a good laugh. She checked up on me and how I was feeling a lot too. Jen has been awesome and always checked up on me after all of my doctors appointments. She's always asking how I'm feeling. She'll ask me what she can do for me and then say what would your Mom do for you right now. My roommates and friends have all been great and made sure I had things to do and if I needed someone to talk to or be around they were there. I went for lots of walks because it's been so nice outside here lately. I always had someone who was willing to walk with me. Most importantly I am so grateful for the Savior and his love for me. I know the Lord knows me and my limits. He has a plan for me and I know I have a future ahead of me. I know there are so many great things to come.
I'm sorry this post is forever long. I don't expect anyone to read it. I am feeling so overwhelmed with gratitude and want to express my love and appreciation to everyone. I don't think I can express in words and let those around me feel how grateful I am for them unless I make them literally feel it. I hope that one day I can let everyone feel what I have been feeling. Now that I know what this is and I know it's not anything that is going to be completely life altering, no one has changed. I still feel an outpouring love and care for me. Thank you to everyone! I love you all!
